Building Effective One-on-Ones

March 10, 2025

Engineering Management
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One-on-ones are the heartbeat of effective engineering management. Done well, they build trust, surface problems early, and help your reports grow. Done poorly, they’re a waste of 30 minutes that could have been an email.

The Purpose of a One-on-One

A one-on-one is not a status update meeting. It’s a dedicated space for your direct report — a place where they set the agenda, raise concerns, and get your undivided attention.

What to Talk About

The best one-on-ones touch on three areas:

  1. What’s on your report’s mind right now (not just work)
  2. Blockers, frustrations, or concerns they’re hesitant to raise in a group setting
  3. Long-term growth, career aspirations, and feedback

Common Anti-Patterns

Avoid these traps:

  1. Using the meeting to deliver status updates you could get from a ticket tracker
  2. Doing all the talking
  3. Cancelling when things get busy — this sends exactly the wrong signal

A Simple Running Doc Template

Keep a shared running doc for each 1:1. A lightweight structure:

## [Date] — [Name]

### Their agenda
-

### My agenda
-

### Action items
- [ ]

This keeps both parties accountable and makes it easy to spot patterns over time. The doc belongs to them, not you — let them drive it.

Cadence and Length

Weekly 30-minute sessions work well for most teams. Bi-weekly can work if trust is high and the team member is senior, but err toward more frequent when someone is new or struggling.

The right cadence is the one you actually keep. A cancelled one-on-one erodes trust faster than almost anything else you can do as a manager.